Hopeless Sacrifice Read online

  With long but leisure strokes, he rocks into me. I arch and shift and grind down the length of his dick until the feeling in my core feels like it’s going to combust.

  As if time truly does not exist, we spend nearly an hour like that.

  He rolls his finger down my folds before rubbing firmly against my clit and the slick feel of him has me coming hard. So hard I cry out just before he pushes his other hand across my mouth. He doesn’t cover my cries but instead, his fingers push roughly against my lips, sliding down my jaw. His fingers flex against my throat before tailing across my breast and holding me tightly against him. Harder he thrusts into me, filling me with every inch of him. Stiffly he jerks again once more.

  Pulses shake through me from his release as well as my own.

  His head settles against my shoulder, his warm breath fanning down my damp back.

  For a few moments, we lie like that. Him still filling me completely while I relax against his chest. The sound of my heart is the only thing I hear for several minutes.

  “You know, I really did want to have sex with you with them.” It’s a quiet confession that has me shifting until he slips from me.

  The sheets tangle as I turn to face him.

  A sated look is in his beautiful eyes.

  I consider his words. His awkward phrasing. He wanted to have sex with me with them. Not with us.

  A smile pulls at my lips.

  “Why?” My tone is quiet but curious.

  Ryder shifts, his back meeting mine. From over my shoulder, I look at him to find his face buried beneath a pillow as if someone was disrupting his beautiful sleep.

  “Just … interested I guess.” Darrio’s palm rubs back and forth against my arm as he holds me close.

  “Interested?”

  People are just interested in group sex? Really?

  “Yeah, I—I want to know what it feels like. I want to know what they make you feel like.”

  “So … it’s a competitive thing?”

  A smile pulls at his lips and it makes my heart melt. He’s so raw and handsome. Sometimes I wonder if he only smiles for me.

  A self-centered part of me hopes he only smiles for me.

  “No, not like that.” He pauses as he studies my eyes. “I want to—” It seems difficult for him to talk about this but he’s trying so hard. I make sure I don’t push him. I let him tell me what he’s feeling, and I love that he’s telling me what he’s feeling. “I guess I want to watch some other guy make you come. Watch the way he makes you shake and cry out. And then I want to fuck you better. To make you feel so good you can’t even think about what he made you feel.” His lips part but nothing comes out for a few seconds. “That sounds screwed up doesn’t it? Maybe it is a competitive thing.”

  He seems confused and maybe a little embarrassed but I’m so turned on by the honesty of his words I can’t speak.

  “Would you say something, Kara? I feel awful right now. We don’t have to do that. I didn’t mean to make it sound like that.” He’s babbling and nervous and I’ve never seen Darrio like this. “Shit, I’m sorry.”

  “I want that too,” I say in a rush.

  The gray in his eyes swirls into a color of iron and power as he looks at me with a wide and astonished stare.

  “Fuck, let’s wake these assholes up right now.” He rolls to turn away but I grip his shirt collar and pull him back to me.

  His dark brows lower as he waits for me.

  “Not yet.”

  I curl into him, hiding my face in the smooth scars of his chest.

  A few silent seconds pass. He doesn’t press me for answers. He doesn’t ask a single thing. He just wraps his arms around me and holds me. He cradles my body until I fall back to sleep.

  If Loki tests us today, if a war comes, if it all takes our lives away as if we’re nothing more than dust, I want to make sure we spend our time together simply.

  I don’t want Darrio to worry about sex, and don’t want Dax to worry about my life, and I don’t want Ryder to worry about whatever it was those Travelers showed him.

  I want peace.

  If only for a moment.

  Chapter Four

  Mimicking

  An anxious rhythm consumes my heart. It’s a quick beat that makes me pace through our enormous room. My boots echo nicely against the cobble floor. When the soles of my shoes scuff over a black boot I look up to meet Ryder’s worried gaze.

  “Stop stressing. It’s not a good look on you.” He has the nerve to wink at me and I shove at his bicep, not letting my fingers linger against his smooth skin for too long.

  He catches my wrist and pulls me against his chest. My feet stumble but he catches me, enveloping me into his warmth until I really do relax just slightly.

  “They’re going to test us. The gods don’t give away their charity. But you’re not just any Hopeless fae.” His fingers brush against my jaw before pushing back my hair from my face.

  His earnest eyes shine down on me. He has more faith in me than even I do.

  “You guys know Kara’s a sort of fire fae?” He doesn’t look to Darrio or Dax as he says it.

  “Really?” Darrio steps closer, studying me intently.

  I shift in Ryder’s arms.

  Daxdyn wanders over slowly, looking me up and down for several seconds.

  “She doesn’t act like a fire fae.” A line forms between Dax’s brows.

  “And how do fire fae act?” Darrio shoots Dax a hard glare, and I’m just happy all their brooding and concerned looks aren’t on me for a moment.

  “Well, to put it nicely, you’re kind of an overbearing, overly aggressive, arrogant asshole.” Dax bites his cheek, and I can tell he’s putting real effort into holding back his laughter.

  “That’s putting it nicely?” Darrio’s big arms fold across his wide chest.

  I can’t help but wonder what happy insults I’ve missed out on during the last two hundred years of their lives.

  “I’m just saying you guys hold a special sort of outlook on life, and Kara,” Daxdyn’s gaze softens when he looks at me. It’s a look that sinks right into me. “Kara just isn’t like that.”

  In Daxdyn’s eyes I’m not an asshole … what a delusional sense of love we must be in.

  “I agree. I thought the same thing.” Ryder’s palm splays wide against my lower back. He holds me close as he considers this puzzle that is my life.

  “What do you think it is?” Daxdyn asks.

  “It could be anything really,” Darrio says as he tilts his head to the side in thought.

  “Excuse me, but the it that you three are picking apart right now is me. I’m a real fucking person and I’m right here. Don’t ignore me like I’m not here.”

  Ryder’s hand pushes lower until it’s settled against my ass. His hard body is even closer to mine.

  “I’m very aware you’re right here, beautiful.” His voice hums with a lustful sound.

  With a roll of my eyes, I shove out of his arms.

  These three are insufferable. They were thinking with their brains for all of five minutes before their dicks chimed back in.

  “Hey, I was kidding.” Ryder’s fingers skim mine just before I fold my arms across my chest.

  “This is serious. The mortal realm could very well depend on my magic. What the gods are offering us will definitely depend on this magic.”

  “Let me help you then.” Ryder steps closer to me and confusion clouds my mind as he wraps his arms around me once more.

  It’s hard to be mad at him. He’s patient, and sexy, and kind.

  “Snuggling me is going to help somehow?” I don’t unfold my arms to him even though I secretly love the way he feels pressed against me.

  “Hmm, it couldn’t hurt.” A primitive sound hums through his chest and the corner of his lips tip up in a smirk. “I think your power is something else.”

  “Something else?” Dax leans his shoulder against the wall as he gets comfortable. He’s still shirtless. Th
e other two men have sadly put on their shirts while Dax lets the morning sunlight skim across the etched lines of his abdomen.

  “When I worked with Mesa at the Iron Bar a few years ago, she told me about this fae she met there. She said he was heavens blessed. Different than the others. Not in appearance, but in power.” Ryder’s attention is held intently on the depths of my eyes. Darrio steps closer once more.

  My nerves tingle through me, my magic swirling until the anxiety makes me feel like I might throw up.

  “Stop being mysterious and tell me what you’re thinking.” My gaze narrows on his pale eyes.

  “I think you have the ability to mimic others.”

  “Mimic?” Darrio cocks a brow at Ryder.

  All the repetitive words are making the anxious energy grow within me. I swallow down the nervous feeling churning my stomach.

  “Fae have special powers. Some have a few special traits, but not an abundance. I can shudder and I can heal, but that’s it. That’s all I have to rely on in life. Other than my charm, of course.” Another cheesy wink has me groaning with annoyance. “But when you did your fire show, you were worried about Dax and Darrio.” A small pause fills his voice. “They were probably all you were thinking about.”

  Finally, I do release my arms, letting them linger against his chest. The steady beat of his heart meets my fingertips.

  “That wasn’t all that was on my mind,” I say quietly. The building angst between Ryder and I kept my mind busy when I wasn’t worrying over Darrio and Daxdyn every waking hour.

  A knowing smile consumes his features. Lines crease his pretty eyes making a fluttering energy course through my chest.

  “Right, right, Ryder’s glorious junk was also on your mind. Can we get to the point here?” Daxdyn shoots me a taunting look and I glare back at him from over my shoulder.

  “I think she has the ability to mimic someone’s power. I don’t know if she has to be thinking of them or has to have made contact with them. It could be anything really, but we have a little bit of time to figure it out.” Once again, Ryder pulls me closer, making my body align with every inch of his.

  “You really think I could shudder just because I’m pressed up against a shuddering fae?”

  “Well I hope you wouldn’t take just any shuddering fae.” Ryder dips his head low, his lips just a breath away from mine.

  “I don’t know, my current shuddering fae’s ego is too big for me to really wrap my arms around him.”

  His tongue rolls slowly across his lips.

  “Mmm, tell me again how I’m too big for you to wrap yourself around.”

  “Seriously?” Darrio cocks a brow at his friend.

  “Is there possibly a less disturbingly sexy way for you two to do this?” Daxdyn says with little interest in the matter.

  A smile pulls at the corner of my mouth for a moment before I really focus on what he just told me. If I put all of my thoughts into someone else’s powers, could I really mimic them?

  He keeps his palms firmly against my hips and ever so slowly he starts to flicker out of focus. His touch feels like waves drifting back and forth against my skin. His magic is strong. It’s something that shivers right through me like a current.

  “You sure that’s safe, to have your magic going through her?” Dax suddenly seems concerned. The steady stride of his boots leads him over to me once again.

  His palm brushes against my side, his thumb sweeping back and forth over my hipbone.

  He’s so careful with me now. Since we were separated he’s done nothing but worry over me, it seems like.

  “I’m fine, Dax.” I force myself to look away from the depths of his silver eyes.

  Daxdyn’s hand slips away but he doesn’t step back.

  My eyes close and I focus on the shuddering feel of Ryder’s hands on my body. The tingling feel of his magic is all I can think about.

  “Don’t lose focus, Kara.” Ryder’s voice holds warning.

  “I won’t.”

  “Good. There are some bad cases of shuddering fae being distracted when using this magic.”

  My eyes peek open to look up at the somber prince.

  “What happens if I’m distracted?”

  The weight of his gaze sinks right through. It sinks low until it’s heavy at the bottom of my stomach.

  “Sometimes nothing. Sometimes a hand or just a finger is lost during the teleportation.”

  “A finger?” It’s a shrieking sound that leaves my lips. “I have three boyfriends. I need all of my hands.”

  I jerk my hands away from him and step back.

  “Yeah, she’s not fucking doing this.” Dax follows me as I start to pace the room again.

  My footsteps sound through the room. Dax’s footsteps mirror mine. My pacing becomes a little quicker. Dax’s pace follows suit. I turn around on the balls of my feet. Dax does not.

  The smooth panes of his chest collide with my breasts.

  “Do you mind?”

  Can a woman not have a simple anxiety attack in peace?

  “Kara, you can do this. I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t think you were strong enough.” Ryder holds his hand out to me invitingly.

  Darrio nods, his brows pulled low over his intense gaze.

  With minor hesitation, I step past Daxdyn and place my hand into Ryder’s. The warmth of his palm pulls me closer until he wraps me up in his arms.

  His strong heartbeat pounds against my chest, strumming strength into me.

  The coarse feel of the sides of his head meet my fingertips as I stare up into his eyes. The light in the room falls across his gaze, making his eyes the color of the morning sky.

  “How do I know where I’m going?” It’s a quiet question. It’s a sound of my fears rising up and strangely enough, I’m okay with these three seeing me at my weakest.

  “Just think of a place. Or a person. Imagine it with vivid detail. Your magic will do the rest.” He pauses for a second, searching my eyes intently. “Ready?” It’s a whisper that fans across my lips.

  “I am now.”

  I might always be ready as long as these three men are by my side.

  As he starts to fade away, flickering in and out, I keep my eyes locked on his.

  I think about the feel of his drifting form beneath my fingertips.

  I think about the powerful buzz of magic pooling through me.

  I think about the nerves in my body mimicking what Ryder’s doing.

  And then, at the last moment, I think of who I want to see right now.

  I’m gone before I even realize it.

  Chapter Five

  A Game of Gods

  Shuddering isn’t at all the way it feels when Ryder guides me through space and time. There’s no pain or anxiety. It’s freeing and euphoric and consuming.

  I honestly don’t know why Ryder walks anywhere. This is the most addicting feeling I’ve ever felt.

  Gentle winds kiss my skin but I don’t feel whole. It’s as if my mind, body, and soul have turned to dust and I’m just caught up in the wind somewhere in an unseen space. I’m aware of the quick movements of my travel but I can’t see anything. Darkness blinds me to the world around me.

  Until I land.

  Ryder’s gaze is alive with excitement.

  “You did it,” he whispers.

  The quiet sound of his voice echoes around the arched hallway. Morning sunlight warms my back and before I can turn around he’s speaking.

  “You are a remarkable little thing, aren’t you?” Loki’s emerald eyes flash with interest. “I am curious which god blessed you so. I do have my guesses though.” He leans against an artfully sculpted column, his back to the deep green field behind him.

  “Perhaps I’m deserving of my gifts.” My chin tips up to him.

  Loud and unrepressed laughter shakes through him. The sound of it hums around the hall until he’s doubled over laughing.

  He stands to his full height. A smile still creases his features as
he stalks closer to me. Ryder doesn’t move but I feel his chest lean into me, brushing against my back.

  “What sort of help do you require from the gods? Although I do feel someone has already helped you enough.” His long fingers strum against his chin as he studies me with rapt attention.

  I try to think of all the people in Juvar who will be harmed first. Then the villages past the sea. And then the world and realms beyond that will be destroyed because of Tristan.

  He’s invincible. I stabbed him through the heart twice and still he’s a threat with too much power.

  Dark magic is all that will stop that man.

  “I want death magic.”

  Death. What an awful thing to ask for.

  Loki’s brows raise high but he never looks away from me.

  “Death magic. You think gods would willingly hand out such a powerful energy? And you didn’t even say please.” He shakes his head in disappointment.

  My lips part and I consider adding the word as an afterthought, but it seems low and taunting of him to ask.

  So I say nothing instead.

  “What makes you think such magic exists?” His gaze flickers across my features.

  I have no idea if death magic exists. Death is real. Magic is real. It is very possible that death magic is real as well.

  “Are you saying it does not?” I’m careful with my words.

  Birds chatter quietly in the serene distance just as a humming laugh skims across Loki’s lips. He leans closer until his eyes narrow on mine.

  “What are you willing to give for it?”

  Anything.

  Anything but Darrio, Dax, and Ryder.

  “Would you fight for it?” Loki’s shifting gaze is magnetic and sparking with mischief.

  Ryder’s palm pushes up my arm.

  “Kara, maybe—” Ryder’s quiet voice is cut quickly off by my own.

  “Yes.”

  Lightning flashes through the god’s eyes.

  I could never have anticipated the following few seconds.