Hopeless Sacrifice Read online

  My gaze drifts back to Darrio.

  He studies every part of me. His attention burns across my damp skin. Slowly his fingers slip through mine.

  “Honestly, I didn’t think I would. But …”

  He pauses at the most inconvenient time.

  “But?” I urge him on to tell me every insignificant thought in his head right now.

  His mouth opens but no words come out.

  “Would you do it again?” I’m trying. I’m trying so hard to make sure this wasn’t a relationship ruining mistake.

  Amazing sex isn’t worth the cost of my relationship with them.

  So, when his lips part I’m clinging to the words he hasn’t even spoken yet.

  And they surprise the hell out of me.

  “I’d do it again in a fucking heartbeat.”

  A smile parts my lips as I stare up at Darrio.

  These beautiful men push their limits for me. And they’d do it again in a fucking heartbeat.

  “I think this only works if we’re honest and open.” Ryder’s gaze darts away from mine, as he studies the tangled blanket on the bed.

  Daxdyn’s serious attention falls hard on his friend. The empath’s emotions change from light to heavy in an instant and it sinks right into me.

  What is Ryder thinking?

  “You’re right,” I whisper, trying to ignore the quiet but demanding feeling of Daxdyn’s emotions. He’s not going to talk about it. Not right now anyway. “And honestly, I’m exhausted. So … who’s going to clean me up?”

  Darrio smirks down at me, his lips pressing against the curve of my jaw.

  “Some things you have to do yourself, human.” He pulls back from me, giving me one more quick kiss against the corner of my lips before shoving away from me and the clean-up I just suggested.

  Daxdyn also strides away. I look to Ryder and he shakes his head slowly at me.

  “Have you ever heard the phrase lie in the mess you’ve made. That’s all you.” He winks at me before leaping from the bed and striding after his friends.

  I’ll be lucky if I can stand without falling after all of that.

  What a bunch of rude assholes.

  A line creases my brow as I dwell on how much more appealing this was an hour ago.

  The door creaks open once more and the three of them come right back to me.

  Darrio crawls up the bed in a predatory way. My lips part as his mouth covers mine. His rumbling words hum against my lips.

  “We wouldn’t love and leave you.”

  “We’re not that big of dicks.” Ryder’s smirk matches Daxdyn’s and his fingers lace with mine.

  I’m astounded by their sweetness. I’m even more astounded they let a big dick joke go to waste.

  Sometimes they’re perfect.

  Sometimes.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Don’t Ever Worry

  The pelting sound of rain striking against the house wakes me just as thunder rumbles, shaking all through Saint’s Inn.

  My lashes flutter open to find Ryder’s pale eyes watching me. The four of us lie on the hard floor, piled together uncomfortably just to be near one another. Darrio lies between my legs, sprawled over me with his big arms wrapped around my small frame. He holds me like he wants to be a little closer to our baby.

  Our baby.

  The words hum through my mind, and as if he can sense my mixture of happiness and anxiety, Daxdyn slips his arm across my shoulders, melding his body closer to my side.

  I love the way he knows me inside and out. Daxdyn’s gift isn’t the strongest power I’ve ever seen, but it fits him so perfectly. I can’t imagine him any other way.

  Lightning flashes through the room, lighting up every dark crevice. It strikes through Ryder’s serious eyes in a way that makes my stomach uneasy. He leans closer, his head resting on our shared pillow. Our noses nearly touch from our closeness.

  A heavy pause fills the silence just before he presses his lips to mine. His lips silence whatever it is that’s drifting through his head. His tongue parts my mouth as he kisses me hard. He stops the kiss, but then his mouth is on mine again. Slow kisses press to my lips, tightening a feeling deep within me with every skimming flick of his tongue. There’s another slow pause as he pulls back slightly, as if he’s not sure if he should.

  The back and forth has me panting and confused all at once.

  Hesitantly, he rolls his tongue against mine. His lips seal to my own before he pulls back once more. His eyes hold mine as our breaths clash against each other.

  “I love you.” It’s a rumbling and whispered confession that makes his eyes close. It makes him look like he wants to disappear from here. And yet, he holds me tighter as if I might disappear from here.

  His words make my breath catch in my throat, my eyes widening as I stare up at this beautiful man.

  “I love you too.” Sincerity and emotion flood my words.

  “I—I loved you before.” He clears his throat, meeting my gaze with a hooded look that sinks right through me. “I loved you before we had sex. I loved you before we ever stepped foot into the Hopeless realm. I loved you the moment we danced. I held you close in front of that whole fucking room of pretentious people in the castle I grew up in, knowing I couldn’t have you.” His words shake through his chest, feeling unsteady against my heart. “And now I do. I have you and I’m terrified of losing you.” He swallows at the sound of the emotion that’s building in his chest.

  “What do you mean lose me, Ryder?”

  A frightening feeling begins to eat away at the fluttering sensation his sweet words just gave me.

  I know what he’s about to say before he says it. I’ve just carefully avoided the truth for so long I’m not even sure I want to know now.

  “In the Traveler’s Guild, when the gods gave me a vision of the future,” my heart pounds hard, threatening to roar over the sound of his wavering voice, “Darrio saves you.” His brows crease as he says his friend’s name and, for a moment, confusion floods me.

  “Are you worried he might not? That he might not get to me in time?”

  His teeth sink into his lower lip as his eyes close slowly again.

  “He dies saving you, Kara.”

  Those words slam into me. My hands drop from his warm body and I swear my heart stops beating all together.

  My heart refuses to beat if Darrio Riles isn’t there to hear it.

  ***

  I want to sleep. I want to rest before tomorrow comes. Not just because of the war that’s looming, but because I have to protect him. I have to protect all of them.

  But all I can think about is how sweet Darrio feels wrapped around me. How warm and comforting this man is in my arms.

  My fingers push through his long hair. Darrio’s strong. Unyielding. Shit, he’s downright terrifying.

  Could Tristan really take him away from me?

  My throat is tight as I swallow hard against that thought.

  I tilt my head to find Ryder finally asleep. His lips are parted as even breaths fan across my neck.

  I turn and Daxdyn’s smooth features are relaxed. Calm and serene.

  Darrio’s head is turned into my body, resting against my stomach as his heavy sighs skim across my abdomen.

  I shift between all of them. It takes effort, but I slip from beneath Darrio’s body and Daxdyn and Ryder’s arms. I tug my jeans on as quietly as possible. My arms shove into my shirt as I open the door.

  My steps are unsteady, my legs feeling weak beneath me.

  I need a real plan. I need space to think. And I can’t do that when Darrio’s death looms in my mind every time I look at his handsome face.

  Darkness surrounds me as I make my way into the dimly lit living room. Flickering light dance across the shadows along the wall.

  And there seated before the small fire, is a woman whose face doesn’t possess a single wrinkle despite the worry held in her eyes.

  “Why aren’t you asleep?” I hiss at my aunt.<
br />
  Her head tilts as she pins me with a mocking stare.

  “I tried but there was this incredibly loud fuck fest that kept interrupting my sweet and innocent dreams.”

  I cock a brow at her, my hip jutting out slightly.

  “You did not hear us.”

  Her lips part with an incredulous smile.

  “I heard the encore loud and clear, darling.”

  My eyes close slowly as I make my way over to her and take a seat at her side. The fire warms my face. It’s peaceful tonight.

  “You didn’t have to fill Ryder’s head with all that French third base stuff.”

  Her thin lips tip up in a sultry smile.

  “The thoughts were already there, Kara. I just shoved the thoughts into actions.”

  “He knows how to use his dick without your fantastic help.” My head shakes slowly and I try hard not to think about what Ryder said to me less than an hour ago. I’d much rather talk about this.

  “Your face is a little sour for someone who just had sex with three beautiful fae men. Unappreciative little thing, aren’t you?” Her boney elbow knocks into mine and I roll my eyes at her despite the smile that’s threatening my lips.

  “I—I’m afraid for them.” My voice is a quiet sound that teeters with too much pent-up emotions. “It’s hard worrying about one person. How will I ever survive worrying about three?”

  Four. I have to remind myself that soon, there will be another for me to worry over.

  My fingers tap lightly against my abdomen in thought. Lady Ivory’s thin arms wrap around me as a heavy breath shakes from my lungs.

  “You’ve only ever had to worry about yourself, Kara.” Her head leans against mine as her quiet voice sinks into me. “But you never noticed there were people worrying about you.”

  My stomach dips as I realize she’s worried about me for years.

  And never once did I worry about her.

  She’s strong and resilient.

  I never had to worry about her.

  But she’s always worried about me.

  “No matter how capable someone is, we will always think about them. But stress does nothing for the mind.” She squeezes my shoulder hard and I lean into her. She’s been the only family I have had for so long that I’ve started to take her for granted. I didn’t stop in to see her enough. I didn’t ever tell her how much I appreciated her. I didn’t tell her I loved her often enough. “Don’t worry. Do not ever worry. Take action instead. Find strength in your stresses and use it to change all the things that dwell in your mind. But do not ever waste time worrying about what you know you have the strength to change.”

  My heart beats louder as I start to nod.

  She’s right. She’s always so smart. She knows just the right thing to say.

  I won’t worry about the future.

  I’ll change it.

  Chapter Fifteen

  An Awful Plan

  I wake to the startling sound of boots storming through the house. I shove up from my spot on the tiny couch. A sharp pain shoots through my neck and I wince from the uncomfortable feel of it.

  My gaze drifts through the living room, finding it empty.

  I fell asleep here. But my aunt no longer sits at my side.

  I shove off from the couch and start pushing my feet into my boots as I follow the echoing sound of endless footsteps. My thighs tense in pain with every step I take.

  Perhaps fantastic sex before war wasn’t my brightest idea.

  But I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t choose the amazing mistake all over again.

  Darrio’s hair is tied tightly back as he listens to Ryder speak in quiet tones. My lips part at the sight of him. My heart aches as if he’ll be ripped away from me at any moment.

  Soldiers come in and out to speak with one another before racing out once again through the back door. I begin buckling my belt, securing my blade at my side.

  Daxdyn walks toward me. The three of them are dressed in clothes of black leather. My fingers reach out to skim over the smooth material that’s sturdy beneath my touch. The inky color catches the sunlight, glittering oddly against the rays.

  “It’s dragon’s leather. Strong but beautiful.”

  My gaze meets Daxdyn’s iron-like eyes, his sharp features and the hint of a perfect smile on his lips.

  Strong but beautiful.

  “I had the guys dig one up for you too.” Daxdyn reaches behind him and grabs a cloth of glistening leather for me as well.

  It isn’t armor. It’s more like another layer of clothing. But magic glistens over every dark scale.

  Is it protected somehow?

  It’s soft against my hands. Daxdyn keeps his close proximity with me, his fingers drifting down to rest on my hip.

  “I—I heard what Ryder said last night.” His words are spoken quietly, and even though I hear him, I don’t look up. I keep my attention held on the dragon’s leather in my palms. “Everything’s going to be alright, Kara.” He leans in to press his lips to my temple but I tip my head up at the last minute. On the toes of my boots, I lean into him. His lips land lightly against mine, and I close my eyes at the calming feel of it.

  Daxdyn was the first. Darrio might have been the first man I ever loved, but Daxdyn was my first real friend. He made me laugh when I thought happiness wasn’t real. He urged me to be more than just a simple human. He saved me when I thought I was dying.

  Our friendship makes us stronger. And that’s how I know he’s the only person I can say this to.

  We keep close together. His chest pushes against mine as our hair brushes slightly together. My fingers lace through his and I hold his deep and knowing gaze.

  “If it comes down to him or me,” I pause, choosing my whispered words carefully. “Don’t hesitate to save him. Say you’ll keep him safe.”

  The starry color of his eyes narrows on me. Everyone around us continues on. But only he and I are in this moment.

  “You’re carrying our baby, Kara. And even if you weren’t, I’d never promise you something like that.”

  “I’m not asking you to promise. A promise is an insignificant thing. Not reliable at all really. Nothing but words and whispers.” My voice cracks as I try to keep a quiet tone. “I’m asking for action. I’m asking you to choose your brother over me if you have to. I was only a thief when we first met. The world will not miss a thief.”

  His gaze shifts calculatingly over my features.

  “I promise. I promise I’ll save him over you.”

  His words circle my mind.

  They’re pointed and sharply spoken as if he has no intentions of doing that at all.

  He promises.

  What a dick.

  A smile tilts my lips.

  What a smart and taunting asshole.

  “I love you,” my voice shakes slightly. “Never promise me anything.”

  His lips brush lightly over mine.

  “I promise, I won’t.”

  Those simple words make my heart flutter.

  They almost make me forget the world for a few short minutes.

  He pauses there, holding on to me for just a moment longer.

  Ryder and Darrio both look to the two of us. I feel their gazes but I’m not ready to abandon the safe feel of his arms.

  I pull back from him slowly.

  It takes a second for me to find a sense of normalcy between the swirling calm and the fighting anxiety within me.

  “Where’s Streven? He hasn’t come to warn us? Tristan really hasn’t crossed the sea yet?”

  Darrio shakes his head slowly at me.

  The sun is just beginning to creep onto the horizon, casting a hazy hue against the warm morning air. A table separates us, the glossy surface reflects the bright sunlight.

  “Tristan’s plotting something.” I pause as I consider it. “He wants us to come to him. He wants to draw us away from these villages.”

  “You really think he’s that smart?” Dax looks to me as my mind
reels with the possibilities.

  I begin pulling the dragon leathers over my head like a tee shirt. It’s tight, but I force it down. When I pull my hair back, the three men are all zeroed in on my chest. My shirt’s pulled down and the vest-like leather is thinner than expected. It presses snugly against my breasts, pushing hard against them until they’re amplified and—honestly—fantastic.

  “Are they bigger?” My brows pull together as I look at myself just like the men are looking at me.

  “Definitely.” Ryder’s voice is full of awe and appreciation. He’s all but clapping with gratitude.

  “The enemy’s going to be really distracted when they see you.” Daxdyn still doesn’t meet my gaze and I have to shove his shoulder hard to get him to find my narrowed eyes.

  “Sorry,” he says, looking quickly away.

  “Anyway,” I breathe out a sigh. “We can’t go after him.”

  My teeth sink into my lower lip as I consider our predicament.

  “We could always smoke him out.” Darrio’s cocky gaze meets mine.

  “The city’s already on fire. If he hasn’t been smoked out in the last twenty years, I doubt it’ll happen now.”

  The visions the Travelers gave me flicker through my mind. I didn’t encounter Tristan until nightfall. We were losing when I did. The nix were ripping through this realm like they would devour it whole in less than an hour.

  And yet here we wait.

  “We need to find him. We need to draw him out.”

  “Going there without our army is suicide.” Darrio’s voice interrupts my thoughts, reminding me of what Ryder told me just hours ago.

  “You’re right. You should stay with our soldiers.” Stay here. Away from me and away from the danger. “Ryder and I will find him. We’ll taunt him and we’ll bring him here on our terms.”

  “That sounds like an awful plan. Dax and I should at least go with you.” Darrio’s hard gaze holds mine, waiting for me to relent.

  My head tilts to the side, in a challenging way.

  “Show of hands who thinks Darrio should follow me to attack Tristan?” I don’t even look away as I wait for the show of hands that I know will not raise.