Of Sins and Psychos (The Beautiful Monsters Series Book 1) Page 4

  It isn’t until the small, circular cottages come into view that the thousands of people brushing against me start to calm into just a trickle of passersby. The cottages are spaced out largely just outside a towering brick wall that reaches high above the little one-room houses that line a circle around the castle walls. I remember this area fondly.

  Because this is the Brotherhood’s homes. And I stayed in the one nearest to the gate for the first few days I arrived in Carnal. The Ruiner’s cottage.

  The kingdom’s one hope is that the king will find his Chosen bride. It’s foretold that a match of magic will bring great power as well as great wealth to the Kingdom of Carnal. And so, every year, King Leavon steals away six women (I use the term women loosely considering my baby sister is only thirteen fucking years old). And as a help, the Brotherhood, too, steals a single girl each. A total of ten are brought into the kingdom. And over the last hundred years, none have lived past that one year of initiation. Except for me: the one who got away.

  Golden gates line the entrance to a smooth sidewalk. The narrow metal bars don’t hide the castle’s grandeur. It spreads far across green grass like an infection seeping into the lawn. The mere sight of the sleek white brick estate turns my stomach.

  I swore I’d never come back to this shiny shithole of insanity. But if she’s here, I’ll never leave until I know she’s safe.

  For several seconds, I don’t move. Then I see her. With just a few steps, I enter. I stand with my back to the glittering gates. My gaze spans the sweeping will-o’-the-wisps that dance in the breeze. Their flowers glow a ruby red from each thin branch that dusts the whirling, swirling walkway. The monstrous doors once looked like a happily-ever-after awaiting my young future as I gazed up at the golden paint that framed the entrance doors.

  Now it looks like a snarling mouth ready to eat my little sister alive.

  Pale blonde hair, the very opposite of my own, sways around her face. Sharp angles and full lips always made everyone stop and stare. At just thirteen years old, she brings in friends by the dozens with her pretty smile alone. But a dark part of her, one she doesn’t even know exists yet, will sneak out once the sun goes down in this world.

  In approximately four minutes, by my count. I peer up at the skies and make note of the warm haze burning along the horizon.

  A long breath of nerves shoves from my lungs.

  “It’s getting dark,” Ruiner murmurs. “We wasted too much time. We have to go, Bella,”

  I take another careful step into the courtyard. If I just remind her what she left at home, I can get her to come with me. I don’t understand what would make her leave in the first place, but if she sees me, I know she’ll come home with me. And I can go back to pretending I don’t think about the Sand Man twice a day, every day.

  My attention zeros in when her big blue eyes flash with a shadow of darkness.

  Shit.

  The Kingdom of Carnal isn’t just a kingdom of Monsters. It creates them. The longer you’re here, the worse it becomes. Night by night, you lose your sense of humanity. It festers.

  It creates chaos.

  I shake my head as my own darkness rattles within me.

  “Bella,” Ruin says from somewhere in the distance of my racing thoughts.

  I glance away to the others. Ten of them are Chosen women. The rest, they’re courtiers. But not. In a way, they’re slaves to one master. A man I ran away from but can never truly escape.

  The proof of that is in the fact that I stand here in his kingdom once again. And I hate that it feels like I never left. I hate that the need to appease him is growing wilder in my chest with each slipping hint of the orange sunlight casting across his beautiful, glowing castle.

  Two minutes.

  With a black hair tie, I pull my dark hair up higher on my head. If I don’t, the darkness will only leave the long locks in a tangled nest once I wake in the morning.

  Ivy pushes her blonde hair behind her ear, and if we came here as friends looking for adventure, I’d tell her to pull it back into a tight bun. Maybe I’d warn her not to wear nice skirts like the one that’s blowing in the breeze now. Maybe I’d tell her not to get too close to the one man everyone here idolizes.

  My fingers lift, and absently, I skim over the scar that lines the side of my face, the one my hair hides so easily. It shows very clearly now. But I’d rather show the ugly memory than deal with two days’ worth of ratty tangles.

  One minute.

  I stride toward her on large, rushing steps. I hear my name called over and over again on a hushed, angry tone, but I have to get to her.

  Now.

  Ink swirls in her eyes as I’m sure it does in my own. And the urge of the darkness inside turns her alluring smile into a leer. Bad decisions and deadly ideas are slashing through her pretty mind’s eye. It’s written all over her innocent face.

  “Shit,” I hiss as I see the chaotic thing surfacing from within her.

  I stumble up the steps, and when her eyes meet mine, a warm sensation of relief blooms within me.

  “Ivy!” I say on a long exhale.

  Her pretty face tilts slightly, and once more, alarm bells ring at the back of my mind, but I shut the window on the sound and take her hand in mine.

  “Ivy, I—I don’t know why you’re here but—”

  “Do I know you?” She smiles, and it’s only minimally eerie with the wells of blackness in her gaze.

  Does she know me . . .

  I blink at her.

  What—What has he done? What did he do to her?

  “I—"

  A man strides up the few steps and stops before her, stealing away all of her attention with a handsome smile like the devil himself. Two black horns twist up from his pale hair, giving him a height no one can ignore. His messy locks hide his features from me, but the simple crowd of wide-eyed awaiting Carnals just behind him tells me all I need to know.

  Initiation night.

  I’m pushed back, staggering down the two steps, and I lose sight of her all together. The throng of people around me shifts. Dozens of arms brush by me, and I try to keep sight of her blonde head of hair in the crowd.

  The Chosen, my sister included, abandon the steps of the castle and trail behind the cackles and howls of their elder Carnals. What will they do to them? How will they spark the wildness of the new audience who haven’t yet explored this chaotic kingdom?

  Whatever it is, Ivy isn’t ready.

  I take a single step before sharp nails dig into my upper arm.

  “We’re going,” Ruiner seethes out.

  A manic sensation tells me to laugh in his face. There’s an asinine urge to tackle his enormous body to the ground and shake my ass in his face until he submits to my erratic authority. I shove my hands down my face and try to get a fucking grip. I’ve got to keep control in this kingdom.

  If I don’t, Ivy will pay the price.

  “I just—”

  My excuse slips out while someone else slips in. A slender man with eyes as white as his hair. A smile like jagged ice cuts up his lips, and he beams it directly at Ruiner.

  “Did you think you could come back to the Kingdom of Carnal and my Lord wouldn’t know about it, Ruiner? The Brotherhood has missed you, my friend.” His hands are folded neatly behind his very narrow back, his posture stiff and formal. “The Sand Man has requested your presence.”

  Ruiner’s jaw twitches hard, and he glances at me out of the corner of his cold blue eyes.

  He can’t take me with him. He’ll never bring me back to the man I outran so long ago.

  The strong hand wrapped around my bicep slides away slowly. It skims down my arm with just enough warmth and apprehension that it sends shivers racing after the final brush of his fingertips against my wrist.

  Then he walks away.

  To the naked eye, I mean nothing to the batlike man striding up the castle steps without a second glance my way. We’re two strangers who share a once upon a time together.

  Once upon a time, we shared a bond of fear and friendship. The night he helped me escape this black hole of a kingdom was the night I believed soul mates might mean something different than what Disney has always led little girls to believe. A soul mate isn’t a fleeting lover. It’s a lifelong friend.

  Knowing Ruin will always find me, I round the corner of the castle. I have his protection, but I don’t depend on him as deeply as I once did. I’m ready this time. The night does fall, though. And the dark magic of this kingdom falls even harder. My mind feels heavy and cloudy. I’m a jumble of thoughts, as are my steps as I slip into the mass of people. My attention scans each face until I barely spot her up ahead.

  She’s so small. I keep several yards of space between us as the shadows settle with the fading sun, and somehow the petite frame of her shoulders seems less like a girl on the verge of womanhood and more like the little girl I left behind when I went off to Chicago. An obscure restlessness tremors within me, but I calm its energy with my own as the crowd of dozens swallows me up, and we walk farther behind the east wing of the building. Torches light up the white brick of the grand hall that sits in the shadow of the king’s castle. We pass the familiar building and keep going, though.

  Each deep inhale is accounted for along with each forceful exhale. I just have to focus on my breathing, and my mind will stay with me.

  The magic of this place, it preys on the newcomers. It eats their naiveness alive. The wiser, the ones who have trained here, we know we have to keep ahold of what’s real.

  Just focus on your breathing. Focus on your breathing. Focus—

  As hard as I try, the darkness keeps pulling away at my sanity.

  Laughter crackles through the night, and I find myself smiling at it as well. Excitement blo
oms in my chest.

  It’s all a memory coming to life. The countless times I’ve revisited this place in my mind are nothing compared to the cold wind that skims over my flesh and beckons me deeper into the madness. It’s freeing. It’s addicting.

  It’s fucking intoxicating.

  My boots slam over the damp grass, and I’m full-on running. I pass face after face, and none of them give me a second glance. Because they’re sprinting into the wilderness of the night as well. Like animals, we flock on into the unknown with an anticipation and need for the darkness to swallow us up entirely.

  Take me in and never give me back to that cruel, cruel reality.

  Fuck reality.

  And then the darkness sprays out with glinting embers that shoot into the night all around us like our own personal stars streaking across the heavens. A sound like gears grinding churns, and then more light blooms before my eyes in beautiful, swirling colors of gold.

  A sort of carousel turns slowly, its platform void of any metal toys for children to play on. But beasts with great black wings and sturdy, dark hooves pound into the metal flooring, demanding to fly free and find the excitement of the night just as we have.

  “Falhorns!” an older girl screeches with a bubble of laughter that mirrors in my chest and casts out into the whipping breeze.

  “Is it a carousel?” a girl just a few feet from my sister asks.

  “These are the king’s creatures. The flight station assists the Falhorns with gaining momentum,” a boy with unruly dark hair tells us. “It spins faster and faster, and when they’re released, they spin out into thin air. They disappear, traveling through cities and kingdoms with a speed only their magic is capable of.”

  My lips spread wide at the beautiful sight of the demonic horses in their flight stations. They’re hell-sent if I remember right. Every inch of them from their glistening hair to their big eyes is like a shadow dipped in a well of sin. Beautiful and yet . . . unnerving at the same time. Between their spiraling, dark horns is a gleaming, golden rod that ties them to the carousel. Those rods are staggered throughout. Six Falhorns are tied to the now quick-spinning platform, while the other dozens of poles are empty . . .

  And it becomes very clear what initiation night involves.

  With an excited leap, my heart soars, and my hand grips the nearest pole. I’m jerked forward, my body trailing as the carousel turns rapidly. Blurs of lights and screams are all around me, and I feel . . .

  Untouchable.

  Once more, I leap to my feet with a cool breath of fresh air in my lungs. What I find though, is that the party has already begun.

  “You a Carnal?” the man asks as he picks up a lock of my sister’s long blonde hair and seems to inspect its softness between his thumb and index finger.

  “Yes,” she breathes out with awe and admiration.

  He’s the same man who led them all here. He’s clearly a ringleader of some sort. And he clearly wants to put my sister in a bad, bad situation.

  Her big, darkened eyes mirror the lights glinting all around us as she nods with a devious smile.

  My soul itself shakes with worry for her.

  She’s too young. Too small. Too fragile.

  Focus on your breathing, a manic reminder urges from deep at the back of my mind. But the words fade away before I ever fully process them.

  “Let’s prove it,” the tall, beautiful, and destructive man calls out to a heckling crowd.

  The way he walks alone is like a predator. He walks with the threatening grace of a jackal circling its prey. His ebony horns are demonic in appearance, but he doesn’t seem like a demon. He’s too pretty.

  What are you?

  I take a step forward to confront him. The fear slamming through my chest is what really gets me moving. I’m hurdling up and catching the nearest bar with a resounding screech that carries on through the night as I leap from one to the other to the other until I’m as high up as the pretty golden mechanics will allow me. And then I lean out, my boots nearly flat against the side of the pole as I crane myself over the watchful Carnals.

  The nights I danced nearly naked for filthier men than these beasts have all led me here, huh? I guess the saying is true: if you work hard at your job, it’ll pay off eventually.

  “Maybe you should prove it yourself.” I smile down at the man who now has his attention and sights fully on me. Ivy stands behind him. Forgotten. Safe. “Who the hell are you to decide who has to perform for us tonight?!” Laughter and cheers support my words, and I can’t help but smile even more. With that, I spring out to a new bar as effortlessly as an animal swinging through vines. At the last moment, I swirl around the pretty pole and arch my back hard as I look at him upside down.

  I wasn’t prepared for my lungs to forget how to function though. The most alluring black eyes shimmer with a bright glint of gray shining within. A galaxy of beauty shines in the depths there.

  My boot squeaks as I nearly lose my footing from the rod I’m anchoring myself to. The muscles of my right arm are strung with a nice tension from how far out I hold myself. Long black hair hangs like a thick rope from my hair tie. I feel like a black widow ready to quietly descend down upon this riotous man.

  I’d eat this fucker whole for picking on my little sister.

  “And who,” his hand lifts high and with one long finger, he strokes the edge of my jaw, “are you?”

  “Come play and find out,” I whisper, my smile sharpening viciously at the corners.

  This is what I have to do to divert bad, bad things from happening to her. It’s no trouble. The opposite, really. My dark little heart loves it right now. She loves the thrill of possibilities.

  Breathe, I’m reminded.

  And I remind that reminder to fuck right off.

  Jesus. My voice of reason is a real fun-times-cock-block tonight.

  The stranger’s own amusement shines in his starry eyes. Eyes no monster has any right to have—like a little bit of heaven has found its way into hell . . . The spiraling, black horns peeking through his messy, pale hair are a proven point of that.

  “Come down.” It isn’t a request. It’s a cruelly laced command.

  Once more, my heart leaps with excitement. Will we fight? Fuck? Both? No one knows. And that’s the entire appeal of it, isn’t it?

  Sigh.

  Maybe it’ll be romance. Or maybe it’ll be murder. But either way, my heart will be pounding in the end.

  My fingers loosen, and casually, I slide down the pole. The gaze that narrows on me is still playful. Still mischievous.

  But darker.

  “Tie her up,” he says on a rumbling bark.

  My lashes flutter as my eyes widen. A gasp carries round and round and round. Nervous, excited laughter chases after it. Some Carnals have the good sense to step back from the crowd that’s now closing in on me. Some leap off of the carousel entirely, choosing not to partake in whatever the midnight hour will bring. Ivy is one of the smart ones.

  And that’s the only calm that eases my nerves.

  My gaze doesn’t focus on her, but I see her all the same. I don’t draw attention her way as she scurries off of the spinning platform with two other girls at her side.

  And I’ve done what I came here to do: protect her.

  Too bad I’ve screwed myself in the process.

  Ah, well. Such is life: a constant fuck hole I somehow always manage to crawl out of.

  Two men grip each of my arms, and though I don’t struggle . . . they really put an effort into jerking my hands above my head.

  “Needed two of you to do this, huh? One to lift each hand?” They ignore me. The two press in on me with their smooth chests as they lift me even higher, my feet dangling as the tips of my boots barely scuff the metal flooring. “You’re really far too close for what’s considered proper for a single lady like myself.” Dude on my left just grunts as his pec squishes in on my cheek once more.

  My tongue slips out, and quick as a wink, I lick him there like a deranged frog that mistakes pert nipples for flies.

  His big body tenses all over before he stops his work and slowly looks down at my tilting smirk.

  “Did you just . . . lick me?” With the lightest brush of his palm, he wipes his nipple haphazardly like that’ll really fix the germs.

  “Sorry, was that indecent for this situation? I wasn’t provided with many rules before we started the game.” I blink up at him with a heavy seriousness, and he awkwardly looks to his buddy who’s still roughly tying my hands as high as he can reach. The rope bites into my wrists hard when my weight fully gives in, and neither of them mention the licking incident again as they step back.